Dating for Dummies: “You don’t have gf? Why don’t you?”

Dating for Dummies: “You don’t have gf? Why don’t you?”

A couple of, obviously bored stiff out of their minds, stare intently at their smart phones in a Seoul cafe. The talk that is small if you have any, is painful to eavesdrop on. Despite their matching clothing, ubiquitous few rings, and obligatory selfies together, they appear to have small in typical. Why the frequency of these embarrassing pairings in the coffee stores of Seoul?

“You don’t have girlfriend? Why don’t you?” is most likely the essential question that is common guys get expected in Southern Korea. Dating is a fairly simple endeavour and there’s no explanation not to ever take action, as my South Korean housemate constantly reminds me personally. Dating Г  la corГ©enne happens to be paid down to checking items off a listing, after a textbook of do’s and don’ts. We provide you with the lowdown:

The Introduction

The easiest method to satisfy females is through your buddy: he can expose you to some one he knows and put up a sogaeting — a pre-arranged date. Instead, you need to use a sogaeting software. As soon as both both you and your girlfriend that is potential have on a night out together, make sure to dress to wow. Then head to Gangnam. Italian restaurants or VIPS will be the standard fare for dates. If you’re unsure on how to speak to your date, don’t worry and simply prepare some topics ahead of time: web sites with guides and video lessons abound.

The Meetup

Whom foots the balance? Why you, needless to say. Her duties are restricted to spending money on after-dinner coffee, but only when the date goes well and you also go to Round Two. Also my gallant housemate admits to hating the obligatory dinner purchase but feels he “has no choice”. The‘after-message’ to confirm interest is vital after the date ends and you have arrived back home. See here for well-documented methods that are successful. But don’t forget that timing is important and that the message must be sent within half an hour to one hour following the end regarding the date to make sure success that is optimal!

The Confession

Now if things ‘re going efficiently and also you have an interest in her, make sure to formalise the offer with a love ‘confession’. It doesn’t matter how long you have got invested together, aside from that which you have inked together, things aren’t settled you are ‘official’ until you set in stone the two of. Tell her “i love youu bluntly” or ask, “Do you want to get constant?” If she hesitates to respond to, simply return to “The Introduction” part for this article and over start all again. Until your confession of real love is accepted by some body, it really is permissible to see one or more girl at the same time. It really is referred to as eojang gwalli — ‘managing your seafood stock’.

But you have just entered into a relationship and it’s time to get serious if she accepts your heartfelt plea.


Success! You now have gf, a marker of or both. But this is simply not the finish. It is now time and energy to purchase matching shoes, few bands, exchange hourly texts, make use of ‘selfie-stick’, head to areas, visit coffee shops, look for cafés that is pet. Simply speaking, the number of choices are endless.


Needless to say, thoughts is broken ‘going steady’, the cinema is vital. Areas have also popped up to improve and diversify the ability, with premium couple-seats being offered. Benefit from the connection with staring blankly at a display screen for 2 hours, peppered every now and then with gruesome scenes that automatically prompt hand-clutching, which supplies her the reassurance that oppa has arrived.

Wedding Anniversaries

As time goes by, you need to commemorate some time together: 1 week, 30 days, 100 times… Such milestones confirm the healthier status of couplehood and produce a feeling of accomplishment.

100th present to girlfriend day. Advice please

^^“Please can somebody advise me personally on which to supply my gf for the 100th time

We’re going to reach our 100 times week that is together next however with just a few times to spare, I’m just starting to concern yourself with what things to offer her .г…њ.г…Ў Letters and plants would be the norm, however if there’s other things besides that I’d appreciate some advice. Just just What do other dudes usually give to their day that is 100th?? Because of the real way, she’s 24”. Supply: Daum tip forum


Ideally earlier than later on, you will opt to be intimate. Don’t worry though. That’s all looked after besides. Love motels provide a sex that is all-inclusive, perhaps perhaps not least the welcome pack containing condoms, lube, and desensitizing cream for those who are extremely eager. Without doubt, the savvy few will know which sites and apps to make use of for savings.

The Fact

My housemate is appropriate. With all you need to do conveniently and simply presented for your needs, here really is not any reason to not ever date. (Love, nonetheless, is optional.) The pity of being branded a motaesollo — “a loner since conception” — is after all most readily useful prevented and just how far better to do this than by getting into a relationship? However in numerous situations, the things I see is a costly ritualised performance of courtship: a prescribed pair of inevitable activities marching toward the goal that is ultimate wedding.

But until then, dating is anticipated if a person desires to avoid fees of impotence, deviance, or homosexuality. In reality, some gay South Korean friends turn to putting on a ‘couple ring’ at the job to imagine they truly are right plus in a relationship, while they should really be. It really works like a dream, i will be told.

We often have the South Korean dating scene is like a Petri meal: a synthetic environment containing all of the right nutritional elements to market the fast cultivation of partners. Valentine’s Day, White Day, Pepero Day, the 100-day anniversary… All are grotesque reminders of just how relationship in South Korea is commodified based on some ideal of Western middle-class romance, and repackaged as a kitschy must-have item.

When it comes to hopeless few in the cafe, they truly are both ‘in need’ of a relationship — and status and normalcy it confers. So that they date one another away from convenience, expectation, and maybe — into the best-case scenario — a way of measuring love. But irrespective, enclosed by such pressures that are extreme conform to societal ‘norms’ and perform set functions, they turn society’s desires to their desires, and so they continue steadily to concur with the consumerism of love.

Raphael Rashid authored this informative article.

To get more on dating tradition in Southern Korea, read:

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